My Heart is Bursting…Alternate Title: I’m Coughing So I’m Up, Might as Well Blog

2012 New Year's Fireworks Display done with Lego

I don’t even know where to begin.  Truly my heart is bursting with just the fact that it is a new year that I can’t stop coughing.  Not really. I do have a horrible tickly cough and it’s driving me crazy so while my honey lemon water cools so I can actually swallow it, I thought I would sit down and write what’s on my mind.  Warning: Random is my middle name.

I don’t really like when the years change numbers.  My birthday is on the 4th of January and I’ve ALWAYS felt so let down to have a birthday right after Christmas. (No one wants to party anymore!)  Then my 2nd daughter Ella was cursed with an after Christmas birthday as well.  I’ve even felt, “Ugh, do I have to do anymore baking/cooking?” when I think about her upcoming birthday and party. This year, though I am still feeling the blahs of over eating and the fact that my birthday is pretty much 24 hours (It’s 11:24 p.m.), I’m excited and scared as to what this year may bring.  These are the things I know for sure.

1.  I love my husband

2. I will home school my children until the end of May, the curriculum is finished, or when we move.

3. God loves me, even when my priorities, attitudes, life is completely out of whack

That’s about all the “for sures” that I know at this point.  The other for sure that I know goes along with #3.  God loves me even when my life is all up-ya-mixed as the Mennonites say.  (I’m Mennonite, so I can say it too.)  My life has been pretty chaotic, mainly because I am a Martha.  I do do do do and don’t really take the time to sit at Jesus’ feet and bask in His wisdom and knowledge and His Being.  Because of this, in 2012 I hope to bask a little bit more.  I hope to be a bit more of a Mary.  I am not a faithful blog reader.  I have 2 or 3 that I read regularly, but I don’t sit and read blogs for hours on end.  But yesterday a friend of mind posted a link to a blog that I looked at.  It was all about Gentleness.  Really it was about being gentle with our children.  I will be honest.  I am not the most gentle or kind Mom at times.  I am selfish and evil and ugly far too much.


So I am going to do this.  I’m scared, because I feel like I am someone who starts things and never finishes anything.  I so want to do this.  I want to change the way I parent my children, I want my children to see Jesus in me.  Jesus was ever Gentle.  I am not so much.  Please pray for me as this year goes on.

Along with this challenge I also want to start doing a personal Bible study.  My family is Anglican.  We use the Book of Common Prayer for our daily devotions or at least we’re supposed to do this.  I’ve been following the daily readings along on a website which is somewhat easier to understand.  But I’ve come to understand that maybe I need to not read so much in one sitting.  Maybe I should just take small chunks and slowly chew them and savour those small pieces of “meat.”  I am also going to start doing the GoodMorningGirls Ephesians Study.  That’s another part of being a Mary that I’m unsure I’ll be able to do.  “With God ALL things are possible.” Right?

With that said, I was wondering if the  3 of you who read this blog would want to join me doing this?  If you would like to be accountable with me and make a group, could you let me know soon.  If you would like to join me, or have already joined and wouldn’t mind another crazy homeschooling mom joining your group, let me know.  If I don’t get anyone to officially join, then I’ll just do it on my own.  I’m pretty laid back about the group thing and a little scared about accountability too!

So those are my random thoughts at midnight.  My hot lemon honey water is temperate and I need to drink it in order to not cough, so I will drink it now and call it a night.  May the Lord get me up tomorrow morning as we start our first day of school after Christmas.  Oh the detox we will have to do!  Pray for our family as we try our best to do things for His Glory this year.  I’m praying for God to do the impossible!  Oh God, may Your Gentleness become my gentleness.

By His Grace




8 thoughts on “My Heart is Bursting…Alternate Title: I’m Coughing So I’m Up, Might as Well Blog

  1. Jonelle of course I would like to join you….am I part of the three? I am terrible at commitments and resolutions, but I can do my best. I am going to read and watch more about these in the am when I can get my computer to cooperate better. This is the year when I am saying yes when I am wanting to say no.

    1. Yes you are one of the 3!!! I love you! Thank you for joining me on this. The Ephesians study is only for 3 months so the commitment is not too bad. I have another friend who lives in Alabama who is also going to join us. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

  2. I clicked your link from women living well. Thank you for this post! I too am doing the gentleness challenge. I am also a homeschooling mom. And I find I more readily “lose it” with my guys. Something I never thought I would EVER do. It is so wonderful and refreshing to be on this gentleness journey with other real moms!
    I am also doing Courtney’s Ephesians study and a personal study of Philippians!
    Blessings to you on your journey!!!!!

  3. Over and following from WLW (would love a follow back 😀 ) I enjoyed your post and honesty. I’m not usually the best at following through with these challenges but I really, really need this one.

    God bless.

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